we did a lot of endurance tuesday. i can’t say i hated it, either! we did 30 second sprints ❤ and 180s to go in the opposite direction, and i thought they'd never end. i really pushed myself until maybe the last one though. then we did 2 to 4 pyramids on the big track. liberty reminded us as usual to pace ourselves and not start out at 110% and blow our wad. so i took it easy and they werent bad. liberty's getting really fast!
also, ali got her stitches out from her surgery to get her screws out tuesday and then skated at practice that night! she said it felt better than the first time she came back to skate. i'm so glad she's back skating again 🙂 i'm also glad she didnt push it too hard that night. her boot was rubbing the stitches site so she didnt skate for long.
before we scrimmaged, liberty taught us about quadrants. basically to remind us that we can fake out girls behind us by occupying top left, top right, lower left or lower right area of our skate space.
we had just enough girls to scrimmage again, and jen went back and forth giving both teams scenarios. it was actually the first time i've been pivot where i had to tell my team to take a knee, and then skate out to make no pack. i hope i dont have to be pivot during the bout!
at the end of practice we all said something positive about the night during cool down stretches. i said that slick really lives up to her name when she jams – she just slips right through left and right! rennee said i made holes for her when she was jamming so thats good. i remember doing that once, other than that i dunno.
i felt disconnected yet again… its hard to explain, like nothing is clicking anymore. i even think i'm shying away from contact, and consciously not going in to engage because i'm afraid to fall and get hurt- wtf?? my knees have been aching sometimes lately :/ they feel like a muscle spasm underneath my kneecap that i cant control and i dont like it one bit. when i sit down for break at work and then get back up my right knee bothers me.
as much as i like the 187s, i think i need a different knee pad. something that wraps more around the knee to keep it snug? my new pads feel more boxy, like you can tell its a square, and if i happen to knee on the edge, i teeter almost off the padding part. maybe these ones just need to get broken in some more. i'll tell ya one thing though, i can't wear them with tights, thats just asking for them to slip down! fishnets arent as slippery as regular solid tights, they give them a little more friction to stay there.
i want to kick ass so bad in the game – but every practice i find myself just holding back. am i just worried i'll get hurt, paranoid it'll happen before my health insurance starts? i dont know. i get mad at myself for not being able to pay attention and stay alert in the pack 😦 i was hoping the blocker bootcamp would rekindle something in me with derby, but last night i found myself wondering if i could sell the ticket :/
i feel like i just need to get away from derby for a little bit, like take a week or so off. just so i can miss it and realize what a doof i'm being, and go back and be really into it again! i'm so crazy.