tonight i fell on my elbow at one point and it really hurt. i was confused, my elbow pad didnt slip down? it felt pretty tender, and then after i got out of the shower i saw the bruise in the mirror. mark says it looks like a golf ball on my elbow! wierd. maybe one pad has less thick padding or something. i dunno.

i feel like i have skate wheel marks all over my body from tonight. i fell on top of/under someone more than a few times during scrimmage. i fall so much lately while scrimmaging. it frustrates me! i mean i’m past the point where i used to feel embarassed if i fell, or mad at myself, or like everyone was judging me. now its just annoying :/ when i go for a hit half the time i lose my balance and go down. grr! i def need to work on that. i guess i need to get lower before i hit.

ali also said she noticed when i hit that it looks like i’m really stretching to meet my target. i know what shes talking about, its cuz i’m bad with timing my hits. i didnt do very well when we did hitting weave tonight, its been a while since we did that. it was the first thing we did tonight and man was my back killing me. it has been ever since we did the partner weave on tuesday. masumi was my partner that time and she said i was even lower than her and that she thinks i have better stance than her! 😀 i cant tell if i bend at the right spot but i guess it works. maybe not, maybe thats why my fuckin back has been killing me since that night?

my shoulder has also been really inflamed the past few days. ive been doing the 20 burpees a day until memorial day challenge, and thats probably why. cuz i do them with pushups and dont take any day off to rest the muscles. dusty said its no good to work the same muscle every day. so today i did my burpees without the pushup part. i feel like theyre getting harder! they were getting easier for a while there :/ hmm. i def want to start doing some of the excercises from the roller derby workout to get in shape before the bout. and also the roller derby workout dvd. i really got away from that, gotta get on it again!

i read an article about setting goals for yourself at derby practice and also visualizing. i worked on the visualizing thing today x) seems kinda silly but it said they did a study on a football team who practiced regularly and one who did all the same things plus visualization and guess who was more succesful?! anyway so i wanted to set some goals for myself and one of them was to challenge myself by always trying to jam once when we scrimmag.

tonight i wasnt feeling the jamming thing, i really didnt want to. i was like hmm maybe i should just focus on my blocking… but after mel jammed and she was holding out the star panty i decided to just give it a try. the opposing jammer was havina, and as we were on the line waiting for the second whistle my heart was pounding. i tried to calm myself down by taking a look at who was in the pack, and just thinking about where i thought i’d be able to get through.

well guess who got lead jammer? me! 😀 i guess i just found a hole, and also i had been visualizing myself as the type of jammer that burger is, just clearing her own path through people. so if it was for real i would have gotten lead jammer and been able to call off the jam. cool. my first scoring pass is another story though. jamming is soo tiring! i felt like it took me forever to make my way around to the pack for my second pass. and once i got up to it, i clammed up and couldnt get through for a while. its so hard when ur opponents are paying attention and see you coming and try to hit you. i like it much better when theres just holes i can get through, haha… but yeah i got knocked down a bunch but finally got through. its so hard though! my legs are all tired by the time i reach the pack, its almost impossible to make them be quick to get through if i do find a hole i wanna get through before someone comes at me.

yup, theres my jamming experience of the evening. when i was done ali said she held her breath the whole time, and she didnt want me to do that anymore! shes worried i’ll get hurt because she got hurt jamming. her wedding is saturday, i cant wait to see how pretty she looks in her dress! i’ll probably cry. my wifeys gonna be a wife!