yesterday 8 of us radicals went on a road trip to morristown to practice with jersey derby brigade. tara graciously drove me, burger, and mj and didnt even want gas money cuz she was gonna go anyway! i was pretty worried how i’d stick to my diet, but the practice was 3-5, we left skateaway at 1230, so i took my lunch, and all my snacks for teh day.

we were making good time so we stopped at a burger king on the way down. i tried to order the apple fries cuz my baggy of apples was looking kind of sad, but they were out! fuckers. liberty kept doing this thing where she’d say “HELLO PLEASE! THANKYOU PLEASE.” and it cracked me up every time. we were quite loud in bk. we actually spent too much time in there because then we ended up being 10 minutes late to the practice! we didnt have time to stretch, we went right into warm ups.

thier coach or whatever is bruta lee, and liberty split us all up into 2 lines, and bruta told my outside line what to do, as liberty led the warm ups. we just did all dif types of weaves. thier practice space is a sports court, with the tiles and plexiglass walls around it. and i’ll be damned if i didnt run into the wall and fall down at least once or twice! other girls scraped the wall though. that sucked!

after we did all that, we did partner pyramids 2 – 4. it was harder than at skateaway because everyone was entering the small track at dif times, so i was always almost plowing into someone else or having to slow down if i got caught behind someone. my partner was crissy catastrophe, the girl who looks like ransom angel and filled out our roster at the first bout last summer. shes so pretty. i thought i’d be totally beat by the end of those pyramids, but i was only partially beat! so yay for that. maybe my endurance is showing some improvement? did i mention the floor was tiled?

finally when everyone was done with those laps (i wasnt the last one for once!), it was time for some scrimmaging. it was about quarter after 4. there were way more of them than us radicals, so i think we borrowed like 2 girls. the zipper jammed a bunch, she is good. a great asset to our team! when i got put in i was feeling confident, but that went away about 4 seconds into the jam. it quickly came rushing back to me that i have no idea what i’m doing! oops, how could i forget? it feels like i’m helplessly being swept out to sea with a wave. i get confused, i get scared, and i clam up and wish for it to be over soon.

i didnt know if i should be engaging other skaters when they were skating beside me just for the sake of engaging them, or not. during one jam, masumi pushed me into the jammer coming up and i tripped, fell, sort of rolling on the ground. i guess i tripped other skaters, because zebra snapper the ref said major tripping, shark. i was behind the pack now and incredulously said, “me???” and hes like yeah you shark. i thought that meant do 5 laps since that was what we were doing for major penalties but i asked anyway, what do i do? and he said 5 laps, so i started them… i felt totally dumbfounded and pissed off. how could i get punished for something that wasnt even my fault? obviously i fell because someone else tripped me – and i hafto do laps for tripping someone else?

i felt defeated and angry, and wasnt busting out those laps at all. but masumi was doing laps as well now, and i heard jen call out “girls doing laps, hurry up, your jammer needs your help in there!” so i picked it up, knowing full on i wouldnt finish my 5 before the jam ended. yep, then it got called off. masumi was like sorry about that sharklegs, and i was like why did i get a penalty, thats bullshit! masumi said she saw an opportunity and went for it, but it was her fault so she took it for me. but she didnt tell me that, so we had both ended up out of the jam. i was all angry and shit and declared UGH I DONT UNDERSTAND ROLLER DERBY! she kindly tried to explain to me that you’re always responsible for your body.

i really didnt want to waste anyones time by going in anymore but jen put me in more. at the end i finally contributed a little, thier jammer was coming up on the inside and i got low and wide, and sat on her so she couldnt get by. that made me feel good that i was able to do at least a little to help my team. but sadly, i’m a one trick pony. thats prettymuch my only skill.

i couldnt wait to go home and eat once it was over, but we went to a friggin bar with the team afterwards. not only that, a cold bar! a bar that didnt sell food but had some free ziti on bunsen burners, and popcorn. i slowly went through my snacks as we chatted and waited for burger to finish her pitcher of beer. i totally wasnt in the mood to socialize but i did laugh a lot at liberty, shes hilarious, so that put me in a momentary good mood. after about an hour i would have given my left arm to get the fuck out of there, but burger had gotten another pitcher of beer. i wished i could call a taxi or something. or better yet, brought a dinner along. i felt like i had no right to talk to any of the jdb girls about derby, or about anything, or even look them in the eye. they’d just seen me suck big time on the track! i was hungry and cranky and majorly antisocial.

finally we left around 9, and shortly after i saw a sign for suffern, ny – where aiden took carrie to his country cabin and she hated it – tara announced that shed gone the wrong way and we had to turn around. apparently we’d gone far out of our way. i had plenty of rule related questions i wanted to ask, but it was quiet on the way home and i was too shy to bring it up.

luckily, school had a delay the next morning because of the temperature. thank god, cuz i didnt get home til after 11. i was too drained to make a dinner, i just had the frozen wheat waffle easy peasy breakfast from the diet and called it a night.

i’ve since vowed to never leave state again to do something i can perfectly well suck at right here in my home town!

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