thursday was not a good night for me. we got right to it after only a short time of warm up skating, and the line was fast paced. it took me over 2 laps to finish my weave because it was so fast. and my swedish performance was not my best.
liberty explained that she’d be running practices til the bout and having us work on pack related drills. we started out with pack 40. pack 40 is just the whole team skating around the track at pack speed, close together, recycling and communicating for 20 laps one way, and then 20 laps the other way.
omg, halfway through the first direction my lower back was cramped to hell. everyone was holding thier lower back after this drill. the opposite direction was harder than the regular way, we were more spread out, and liberty said if we didn’t do it right we’d be doing this all night. man it was torture on a sore back. i was in so much pain i started crying near the end.
then we worked on hello kittys and the other thing thats like a hello kitty in pairs. my partner was shannon and i was already feeling really reluctant to practice these because i get them mixed up, and i’ve never been able to smoothly execute one before. but shannon was really good at hers, and i just felt like mine were so bad, i was on the verge of tears the whole time. it was pathetic. i almost went to the bathroom to have a real cry. i just felt so defeated already, and the night was young. i felt like i shouldnt be at practice, it was obviously for the girls who were going to be in the bout. i felt like everyone else there was in a club and i was just a wannabe, a tag along, a loser. have you noticed how this blog has become more about my feelings than actual roller derby?
but then we did a plough stop drill in groups of 4, and i actually did pretty well, a lot better than i have in the past. and when we did scrimmaging, i actually used one of those moves that i cant remember the name of! usually during gameplay every skill or move i know goes out of my head, so this surprised me! i was proud of myself. and on a night like thursday, i needed that one little moment.
i wonder if eventually every night at derby is going to be a bad night. it sure seems to be going in that direction.

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