yesterday we had a guest coach, erin go braless who skates for dutchland. i was nervous, afraid she’d be real tough on us. she wasnt really, but i like our own practices better.
we started off with a sort of relay pyramid from 2 to 4 laps. my partner was tara, and yes we were one of the last to finish because of my slow ass. the first time i went i was fine. the second i was prettymuch fine. after that its all downhill for me though. erin said her team does that up to 8!! fucking a. i get so out of breath and my legs feel like theyre encased in concrete.
then we did a bunch of drills. it was so hard for me to concentrate, after a while i kind of gave up. i was distracted by the new mix cd that was on, looking at erin’s tattoos, etc… we did this drill where a pack of three would lean the jammer out of bounds and then say the code word (dingleberry!), and then go backwards to keep her farther back. first we did it with turning around and going back (i sucked cuz i cant do tomahawks), and then we did it with skating backwards. also sucked at that, we were supposed to stay close together but i dont have much that kind of control during my backwards skating. it was 10:00 by the time we got our first drink.
then we did some 4 on 2s and shit… when i was on the 2 team, i couldnt stay with my other white team member. erin go braless probably thought i started like a month ago 😦
then if my morale wasnt in the gutter enough, we did a “fun relay race”. joy. 6 girls on each team, had to take a piece of candy down to the other end, put it in a bucket and come back and hi five before the next girl could go. we all went twice.
i don’t perform well under pressure :/ i wiped out twice, but somehow my team still won. i hate shit like that. i was so upset with myself i started crying.
it was one of those nights where i say to myself, i’m so not coming on thursday. what’s the point? i’m not going to be in the bout next month. i’m not going to be in a bout for a longggg longgg time.
how can i become more positive?
during stretches, erin said derby is 90% in your head… and if you slow down it can actually be fun. i thought, no shit?