thursday night i didnt wanna go to practice, i just felt like staying at home and wallowing. i was so ashamed of what an ass i made of myself tuesday. but i went to practice like a good girl.
first off, i went through the weave alone for the first time. i couldnt do everybody, but once someone said just drop ur butt and go through, that advice helped. i did it. definitely couldnt do the backwards weave though. then we did swedish, and … it was so embrassing. i’m not just saying that.
i realized it was taking me forever to catch up, and i tried to push myself and fucking fell on my ass around a turn. got back up and was even farther behind… kept pushing, so outa breath, and i fucking ate it again around the same turn… and i snapped. i spit my mouth guard out and screamed FUCKK!! and started crying 😦 liberty came over to try and help me, i had to hitch a ride from her. ugh, it was awful. and i hated how once i finally made it everyone was like way to go kristle you did it… yeah i did it but it took me about 10 times longer than any of you!
at that point i really wanted to leave practice and go home.
but there werent many girls there so jen had kat and liberty go down the end with me, allie freshmeat and lulu to help us with falls and packs. i think its easier to get up from knee falls with my new pads! i learned the baseball slide which actually hurt my hip a bit.
then we practiced skating in a pack, and i asked my questions and got a lot of good advice from kat. i feel so much better about pack skating now! i actually felt comfortable doing it. we even practiced with one of us being the jammer. i got through! haha.
then we went over to the big track and did it, with heather as jammer. i did well! i was so proud of myself then, and couldnt stop smiling.
mallory and lulu were sitting by me as we watched more practice jams and mal said shes been doing this 7 months and there are still nights where she doesnt wanna come back, but u gotta push yourself and not give up. kat said im too hard on myself. i left practice feeling really good 🙂

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