that’s right, the track got all those 3 things from me last night. i am that girl! i am that loser who cried her first derby practice! ugh. i’m so lame. i’m just easily overwhelmed.

anyway. wow. it kicked my ass. it was intense. it was worse than i thought. the whole time i was just thinking, i can’t wait til this is over so i can leave and never come back. i was calculating in my head how much i’ve already spent and thinking about cutting my losses. i was ready to just throw in the towel and give up. how lame is that?

so let’s start from the beginning. i was so excited the past few days, and then yesterday afternoon nerves set in. but i was determined to stay in the sociable mind set, be happy, upbeat, and talk to my new team mates with enthusiasm. when i got there it was a different story though. they ignored me. insert pouty face here. i became quiet and shy, just how i didnt want to act in that environment. oh well, mark said they just treated me like that because i’m new. i guess yeah, they don’t know if i’ll be someone they’ll be seeing again or if it was a one shot thing.

anyway, this girl i know from shows courtney seemed to be the secretary so i got some papers from her and paid my practice dues. everyone put on their gear, and heather told me my wrist guards would be fine, theyre even harder than hers so thats a good thing. and that my knee pads being tight is a good thing. then everyone just skated around the track which i joined in. that was fun and relaxing. a girl named liberty introduced herself to me 🙂

then everyone got in a circle to stretch. i was late coming into it, and since i can’t stop, i skidded into the middle of the circle a bit, ugh how embarassing. we went around the circle, everyone counting to 12 for each stretch. then we did planks for the length of how long it took to go around the circle and everyone said thier derby name. i just grunted idontknowyet. guess i shoulda been practicing my planks. then we did them again with everyone saying thier favorite shot. ha. shirley temple here.

after that was done, the fresh meat went with diva, a transexual with attitude. she didn’t seem that interested in us, us being me, 2 other girls who were on thier second or third practice, and a dude with checkered helmet strap (jealous). i started out with confidence. i was the only newbie who had speed skates, they were practicing with the rentals. i guess i thought that meant i could do better than them. ugh kristle. i can’t remember what we did first, because i was fine at it. but then we did hops over shoes, and i fell, sprawled out, and i wasn’t all that embarassed, but i broke my fucking nail! and i just chewed them all down! its not like i had long fake nails like diva. but it was bleeding under the part that was bent up and not yet torn off, so i had to be lame and get a bandaid. i thought itd be unsanitary for blood to drip onto the track… really, kristle? broke a nail at derby practice? really?

then we did falls, one knee, two knee, superman falls. this is where i’m fucked. the getting back up real quick part. MY THIGHS ARE WEAK! weak as fuck! why did i pick a sport where you need strong ass thighs? i hate my thighs. fuck them.

anyway after that we did running in place which i was the only one who kept rolling forward. i felt so stupid. and then we had to go around our smaller track as fast as we could and she timed us. i thought this would be my strong suit but my legs were just so tired. finally we were done with diva. she didnt really try to help us she just barked orders. no explaining.

then we went with jen thank GOD! jen is so nice. her and courtney said every practice won’t be like this. diva is on the lehigh league and just comes to help us tuesdays with drills, and refs.

so at this point we went to the side of the rink not being used by the real players, who were doing a scrimmage. and just sort of skated around to practice different things. i was trying t stops and still not getting them, and getting really fucking pissed. jen saw, and tried to help me. she gave me tips and i almost got it once she said, but then i kept getting frustrated so she had me do sticky skates around the rink. those are hard because its all in your thighs. i definately got better by the end of the night though!

then we practiced plough stops which jen said i want to keep my legs too close. she said we’ll get them wide eventually. haha. i was definately the slow sucky one of the group, she had to send off the other two girls to skate laps while i got special attention. wee i’m special. especially slow.when we had to do this thing where you cross one skate over the other then crouch in derby stance, i kept rolling forward, she had me crouch with my butt against the wall to try and find my center of balance. thats why i always roll forward. then we did some laps and that was it! thank god. us 4 newbies just stood around talking with jen for a bit, and i realized my feet hurt somethin nasty! i wonder if i can get inserts for my skates. they just felt so hard and flat by the end of the night, standing in one spot.

oh and then we got to have the pleasure of joining the circle for a diva led drill sesh. run in place, turn around, one knee fall, superman, get up, run in place, etc… whoa. by then my thighs just checked out for the night and i could hardly get up at all. jen told me to keep my feet moving, i didnt have to do the other stuff. hows that for being a tard?

i think after that was when i was talking to her while everyone did laps and i started crying. it was so bad i almost made her cry. she’s like look at me, look at me. i’m 34, and i’m huge. we can do this together. she made me promise i’d come back thursday. and she said we’re probably the only 2 people on the team who like gorilla biscuits. heh.

the drive home sucked, i was sooo tired! i had gone to the gym for the first time in 3 months yesterday morning, gone swimming, and then that. so i was tuckered the hell out! it was such a long drive. i just wanted to get home and cuddle with mark. as soon as i walked in the door though, my phone rang. it was heather. she saw that i was discouraged (i wonder if everyone noticed that i was crying), and her and jen think i have great potential so they wanna make sure i’m def coming back.

heathers a talker, and it was really sweet of her to call me. she gave me lots of tips for training and stories of how bad she was at first. finally i got to tell mark all about my night, and take my stinky sweat drenched clothes off. my knees feel kinda bruised! i thought thats what the knee pads were for! i gotta get the 187s.

and that is my first night of derby practice. thursday will be much less intense ive heard so… i’m going back. i want to prove to myself that i can do this. being a quitter would just suck. i just have a feeling its going to take me a long ass time to get good….