liberty mentioned at practice that there seems to be a lot of negativity lately. i guess she’s right. i mean, its hard not to be negative when we’re being told we’re going into our next bout with 10 or less skaters. but she says if we go in with the attitude that we’re going to lose, then yes we will lose.
the past month or so, i can’t get myself totally into the game. when we scrimmage, i don’t know where my head is, but its not in the game most of the time. if i get moused, and its someone like kitty keeping me stuck in the back, i think i give up. i know i’m not getting through. it’s so hard to keep trying when i’ve been in the same situation in the past many times, and i’ve failed. i’ve accepted that i can’t break through walls. shit, this is starting to remind me of an entry i made a long time ago, about accepting that i suck…
what did i do then? i will have to go back and read. road blocks of the mind are so hard. harder than any physical challenge.
i feel like we’ve gotten so many new things thrown at us the past week or 2, i can’t even remember them! theres this thing called a c trap that i forgot existed, and when they called it out during scrimmage, i didnt even know how to execute it in a pack setting! i guess i’m feeling overwhelmed.
when we do drills that bore me, i just let my mind wander and go through the motions. i’ve read articles that say not to do that, of course. i’m a bad derby girl :/
i have really been missing endurance at practice. i can see why we’re not doing so much of it, we’ve got a bout coming up and need to work on and learn strategies. pyramids and the like take a long time. i’ve been counting on practice to be my workout for the day though, so when i hardly break a sweat all night i feel shitty about myself, and kind of resent the tedious drills. i’ve come up with a solution for that though – work out before practice, duh! i’ve always been afraid that i’d push it too hard and my legs would be sore later at practice or something. but you know what? thats not the end of the world. i did the rdw dvd the other day and went to practice and was fine, and i did pilates and yoga yesterday and was fine again. so i guess thats my new plan.
in other news, we’ve started doing mountain climbers and burpees on our skates as some of our exercises after stretching in the circle. they are different than on dry land! i like it :)
i hope the weather gets nice and warm out so i can put my outdoor wheels on and skate in that parking lot. i’m itching to push myself to skate hard and get sweaty. we did 4 mins of hell last night at least. i fell on the same corner i have before while going in the opposite direction, grr! i wonder when theyre going to announce roster… tonight was an open scrimmage at jdb some of us were going to, and i was going to go too, it was only $5. but i realized we’d be leaving earlier than i thought, and mark won’t be home all night so i didnt want to leave cujo alone in the cage for so long. he hasnt been doing too well lately.
also, what if i got put in, and just couldnt function like i have been at practice? ugh its so bad. like i see the jammer coming up, but i’m just like ohh okay… and let her go. i dont know why i’m not trying anymore :/ i’ve gotta turn my attitude around next week.
liberty said as homework we were to go home and think about why we joined roller derby. maybe that will help us feel more positive. i think the reason i joined was because i wanted to prove to myself and others that i could do it. i just need to remember that the next time i’m stuck behind a wall. that i want to prove to my opponents and myself that i can get through.
i also read a relative quote today. “you have to want it more than you are afraid of it” – when the opposing team is speeding up the pack, and i have to get up there and get in front so we can take control back and slow it down, i get so scared when i make it up there. i’ll race up there yeah, but once i’m there i am way too scared to try and break through at such high speeds. i need to want it!! i’ll try to remember this next time the situation arises.
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liberty mentioned at practice that there seems to be a lot of negativity lately. i guess she’s right. i mean, its hard not to be negative when we’re being told we’re going into our next bout with 10 or less skaters. but she says if we go in with the attitude that we’re going to lose, then yes we will lose.
i’ve been putting off blogging for too long. i totally just typed blocking instead of blogging and had to change it lol. anyway, we’ve been working on a lot of new stuff lately. so much new stuff that i cant even remember it all. there was scalloping, more long block work, the rest will come back to me.
the scalloping was kind of like fanny pack, but staggering with a wall of 3 and kind of doing jammer on the out. it felt reallly awkward and i didnt like it. i couldnt see myself actually using it.
i hate when we do a drill for something that i don’t fully understand, or can’t do correctly. it frustrates me. when i was newer to derby, i felt that way a lot, but these days when that feeling hits me, it kind of catches me off guard. do not like.
we had an open skate pr event friday night. man was that place packed with jerky kids! screaming, hormonal, wound up little assholes. i didnt skate a ton, the lights were off for quite a bit when i got there, and i dont like to skate on a dark rink. but i noticed that when i did skate, i felt about 99% confident weaving through and around packs of kids. its been forever since i went to an open skate, but i’ve always been a little nervous skating around a ton of kids. remember my tackling incident of late 2010? well i finally don’t fear that “panicking and not being able to stop and breaking a kids arm” thing, so i guess it’s safe to say i’m a real pro now!
we had a handful of visiting skaters at our practice tuesday! some girls from binghamton, a former team mate jackie kennedie, and diva (now team usa famous). for warm ups we did 30 sec sprints and skills, and those just keep getting easier for me. well 30 sec sprints were never that hard i guess.
after warm ups, there was sort of a derby version of speed dating. diva gave a mini bootcamp with different drills, just bam bam bam, one after the other. one of them, half the girls on the track were jammers and half were blockers and we were just supposed to practice weaving around everyone and juking around blockers, then the next time even faster. i’ve gotten better at that, i was surprised all the hopping didnt take more out of me.
i have also noticed muscles forming in my legs that i never saw before! RDWC is the way to go. i need to just do it all year round, and never fall into bad habits, so i can just get buffer and buffer and stay that way! this is week 8, last week. the only thing i’m really dissapointed in myself about is giving into the temptation of work peanut butter. its sysco brand, so its got preservatives and of course sugar in it. that damn sugar is what makes it to tasty! if i have to cup up pb with celery sticks, i cant NOT keep having tastes here and there. i love my all natural nut butters, but damn does sugar get a hold of you!
anyway, i’ve lost between 20 and 25 lbs since i started the herbalife challenge december 1st. i’m still amazed at how my pants keep getting looser and looser. my ass is still wide and jiggly, but it has less padding because damn does it hurt when i fall on my butt or hips at practice now! after tuesday, i asked mal to see if she still had her padded shorts for me to try. i fell so hard on my left butt cheek during a diva drill, pain shot down my leg and i limp-skated for a minute or two. now when i come home from practice, i ice my knees AND my booty in bed. it really sucks when it hurts to sit down or lay on my side cuz i’m all bruised :/ i figured the lighter i was, the faster i could skate, but maybe i need that extra padding to protect muh bones? my boobs have shrank so much, i had to buy new bras and underwear actually, mine were all sagging. i guess i’m still in the process of finding my “feel great weight.”
it was cool scrimmaging with skaters who werent team mates for once though, tues. at first i felt really out of it, my head was somewhere else, but i got into the hang of it eventually. i jammed against jackie, and she went to the box, and i kept racking up points. how cool would that be if it were in a real game? i’d feel so proud that i got a bunch of points for my team, and grand slams! hopefully someday… the second time i jammed against mal and she got lead, and i kept getting knocked around and down and got tired. but having burger as my helper was awesome. she basically plowed through the pack taking out whoever was in my way lol. it was kind of like a cartoon.
so, non-derby, i randomly got a thing in the mail about a charity walk/5k run coming up. that and reading on http://www.carrotsncake.com how tina does half marathons have really put it in my head that i want to make this summer the year i run a 5k race. i was telling mum about it, and how i want to do it but it costs money to register, and maybe i should just stick to the treadmill, but i think she wants to pay for me to do it. she thinks it’ll be good for my competitive side. i would in no way be competing, i just want the knowledge that i CAN do it. i guess there are cash prizes for winners of races though, aren’t there? maybe i could work at it and get real good and get some extra cash that way, haha…
but yeah, theres a training plan online called couch to 5k that i’m going to start i think. its a 3 day a week plan for 6 or 8 weeks, and ali brought her treadmill over so i am now the proud owner of one, finally! right now its facing a wall, which makes using it not so fun, but hopefully we will rearrange the apartment so i can watch tv while running.
i’m just wondering if it is possible for me to train for this while doing derby. i mean i know it is, but taht’d be 3 days a week running, 2 days derby practice, that only leaves one day a week to strength train. i certainly don’t want to lose any of what i’ve gained in the past 3 months! i can already run 5k, i just want to follow this training program to learn how to do it right, and increase my speed. i’ll think on it some more i guess.
thursday we had 2 visiting skaters practice with us. hellody from dutchland, and rabbit from shore points. it was also recruit night, and we gained two new fresh meat! since they were trying out at the end of the rink with liberty, we did our warm ups on the little track. we did sprints both ways, and although i wiped out on opposite direction, i felt really good about it. i was only mildly winded at the end!
we were late getting on the track, so we were allowed to stay at the rink til 11:30. we did chompy blockers, basically the same as bouncy blockers. i lost my balance at the end of one and fell on my left ass bone real hard. wifey said i bounced haha. it was sore sitting in the car on the ride home from plymouth meeting w my parents yesterday, thats for sure. i feel pretty beat up actually, my right hip is sore as well, i fell on it hard while trying to jam. also, we were practicing hitting and big city somehow pinched the skin above my elbow pad and it really hurt! it was really tender yesterday, kind of a brush burn. whine whine….
when we scrimmaged, i wasn’t sure i’d try jamming. on one hand, i want to challenge myself. but on the other hand, i want to get away from jamming because it gets me stuck in my head and that’s no good. after half of us left at 11 there wasnt many girls so i did end up jamming. against rabbit, who is amazing. i didnt get lead, but i did get through! and got points, so thats something! i was coming up on my second scoring pass and rabbit called it off. i was proud of myself for getting points.
then we took it back and just did 4 on 1s, where i jammed again and could not make it through. i was out of breath, and kept getting knocked down, but i was sooo close to getting through if it werent for kittys big blocks. i think i was just about to make it when the whistle blew. man, 2 minutes of straight jamming sure is rough. being the target sucks. i dont know if i’ll ever be good enough to jam in a bout, this season at least. but burger said good job jamming to me thursday so that felt nice. just gotta keep on truckin i guess!
bout weekend was pretty cool! i was really excited for it. friday night i was getting all my foods together, packing my bags and writing lists of what not to forget in the morning. we were to meet up at skateaway at 8am. i started to freak out friday night and get anxious about forgetting something. it was hard to calm down and actually go to sleep!
rennee picked me up saturday morning and i loaded all my bag lady bags into her car and we were on our way. we had one big white van rental that burger was driving, and one fancy mom van rental that melissa drove. i didnt want to chance inhaling smoke so i went in the mom van. we left the wb sheetz at 8:30 and arrived at the venue about 4pm.
we stopped once at jen’s inlaws to pee (one bathroom for 18 derby girls!?), and then at denny’s to eat lunch. i was super psyched that they had an amys organic veg burger on wheat bun with mushrooms and veggies as a side :) we were all hungry, and our food took forever, but boy did it taste great when it came!
we got a little lost when we got into akron but eventually found the hotel. we had about 20 minutes to drop our stuff off in rooms and change for the bout. the venue was in walking distance from the hotel! there was a digital sign that had our logo on it, that was cool to see. it wasn’t an actual rink, i don’t really know how to describe the building. a conference hall? it had multiple floors, and our locker room was actually on a dif floor than the track! we had to take a creepy freight elevator in our skates. so once we were geared up and ready, we went to watch the first bout (it was a double header), and were basically stuck there. of course i wanted to stay hydrated, but the venue didnt allow us to bring our drinks in :/
my friend kelly from ohio who skates with burning river roller girls was going to come, but didnt make it. i was bummed cuz i havent met her IRL yet, and she said she made a sign for me! there were a lot of people there though. a number of the girls who we were to be skating against were also skating in the first bout, which was billed as the B team. that’s right, we were in an A team game! i was a little worried about that part, but hoped they’d be tired out from playing one bout already and that’d even it off.
i would say we were prettymuch matched up against the team we played. we seemed to have more of an understanding of strategies though. it was a close game at times, and i didnt get put in for more than one jam in a row as much as i thought we would, for us skating with just 10 girls, but we won 130-108 in the end. burgers power jams really put us in the lead towards the end.
let me tell you about thier floor. it was a polished concrete floor, and wow was it slippery! hate polished concrete. i could tell all our jammers were having a hard time not slipping out around turn 4 especially. this is why i hate away games – the floor variable! luckily my back wasnt sore after sitting all day in the car though, so that was good. at points it seemed like we were skating on ice, the way girls were falling. and by girls i mean myself. i just was not having a good day!
once those girls saw that they could trap me in the back and just knock me around, they kept doing it. it was awful! i swear i used to have a little more skill with breaking through walls. maybe since i weigh less now, thats why its easier for someone to hold me back and knock me down? i dunno, but it was just ridic. i’m sure i looked like a ragdoll. someone video taped the bout, so i’m sure i’m gonna be embarassed to see it. i def got beat up a lot! i felt so bad, i wish i could have gotten up there to help my team instead of being stuck in the back :(
liberty says i’m too hard on myself. why do i always feel as if everything wrong that happened in a game falls on me? i feel like its so obvious when i mess up, but is everyone else so focused on them selves that they only see thier own mistakes too?
after the bout ended, an older woman came up to me and said good job, and asked about our jammer with the little butt lol. she told mj and i that her son is a ref and this was her first bout. thats nice, when people share with you like that. its cool to know you contributed to someones entertaining experience.
we went back to the hotel to shower and headed over to the after party. luckily it was not in a smoky dive bar, but it was in a bar with a bad cover band. as everyone around me partook in beers and fried food, i scarfed down my feta/tomatoes/olives and apple & peanut butter. as soon as my hunger was fed, i was ready to go home. my knees needed to be iced, and i wanted to get to sleep.
luckily ali and jen were going to nicole’s house, and they dropped me off at the hotel. nicole skated with us last year and then moved to ohio. at the hotel, i searched the floors for a working ice machine, but eventually just used my melting cooler ice pack on my knees and passed out. i dont know what time everyone came back to the room but they knocked loudly as i’d instructed, and i got up mostly still asleep and let them in.
i figured i’d be the first person up since i’m used to waking up early, and get to shower and make my baked instant oatmeal… but it was actually like 10:30 when i woke up! i cant believe i slept so long. and thus began another long day of driving. my body must have been in heal-me mode because i felt like the bottomless pit, eating almost all my snacks.
we stopped at cracker barrel for breakfast, and then a sheetz but those were our only stops on the way home. we flew home. melissa’s van lost burger a number of times, she drives soo fast! i was so bored in the car i fell asleep a few times. all in all i am really surprised at how well i did on the car ride :) and if nothing else, this bout gave me something to strive for. i’ve got to work on breaking up walls!! it did feel pretty awesome to win our first bout of the season though, yes. here’s to many more wins this season!
last night i didn’t really feel like going to practice. it was just one of those nights, ya know? i knew as soon as i skated up a sweat i’d be into it, but i kinda just felt like staying home on the couch.
we started with a partner swedish while holding up numbers. not my fav. then we did 3-5 pyramids on the small track, half one way, half opposite direction. i was happy – it felt really easy! almost effortless. and i really pushed myself with my calisthenics in the middle on my off laps, too. so there’s a sign that my endurance is so much better than before.
we scrimmaged 2 years + versus under 2 years. i can’t believe in june i’ll be with derby for 2 years! i got to be on the vets team though. i like how lately we’ve been scrimmaging more for real, with penalties, 30 seconds between jams, and a half time. it makes us take it more serious i think, which is good pre-bout.
i even jammed, and got lead jammer, and made it through to get points and call it off! man what a great feeling. it wasnt easy, sunday had me trapped in the back for a while. burger told me to remember my quadrants when that happens and fake them out. mj said my speed is my weapon, try not to slow down when i come up on the pack, fake them out and juke the other way, keeping my speed up. mark’s friend jackie who used to skate with providence also gave me that tip. she said to keep your speed up and you have less of a chance of getting hurt when you jam; she doesnt think jammers should slow or stop at the back of the pack.
so i tried to go with that the next time i jammed, and i ploughed right into like 3 people, fell and tripped them, and had to go to the box oh well! lol. aaron was practicing announcing, and he made commentary that i have the most unique skating style on the team. hmm, i hope thats a good thing! mallory always says i have crazy legs.
i’m getting really excited for the road trip this weekend. not even the bout so much, just the trip with my team mates. i think i may have done a 360 on road trips? all the food i want to bring will definitely not fit in my one lunch bag, so i went to target tonight to buy a bigger one :) tomorrow i’m going to make a batch of hummus to have for the weekend. ohio, here i come!
i have put off blogging for a while now. thats partly because i’ve been feeling pretty down on myself at practice lately :/ i can’t seem to get rid of the jamming bug, i just keep trying and failing. i had a mini outburst tuesday AND thursday trying to jam. i just can’t even get through the pack for my initial pass anymore! especially if burger is blocking me, or even worse, burger and liberty. so there’s this new thing we do, if the jammer cant get through she just becomes a fifth blocker. guess who’s calling out “five” a lot now?…
i feel like it’s a cop-out, yes, but if the other jammer is already making scoring passes, and if i were to get through, she’d just call it off… whats the point of keeping trying to get through? maybe it is better to just stop trying, and just work defense. keep that other jammer from getting more points. (did i get the offense/defense thing right? i just learned in the past year what they meant, and i always forget still)
so basically, here’s where i’m at. if we’re scrimmaging, and i see the jammer spot empty, i think okay i’m gonna try it. then as soon as i can’t get through, it kind of kills something inside of me. as soon as the other jammer comes around again, it basically crushes any motivation i had and i accept that i’m probably not going to be able to score any points. i start beating myself up in my head, yelling at myself, thinking this is the last time, last time god damn you! never again.
i try to juke, but that just doesnt seem to work for me, it does nothing in the way of faking out my opponents. or maybe it does, but i hesitate for that split second where maybe i could get through, because i think that i won’t be able to. i don’t even know anymore. anyway the next step to this process is the jam is called off and i want to cry and tell myself to never jam again. this feeling lasts for a few more jams, at least one. but then i’ll see that star panty lying on the floor, and a glimmer of hope and determination sparkles in my eye… then the whole thing repeats.
yes, i’m still trying, but is it for any good? i’m not getting any better, in fact i’m getting worse because i’m at the frustration tipping point where it’s really fucking with my head. thursday i was so upset watching other jammers breeze through time after time, i started crying. i need to let this want go, just get rid of it. so thats what i’m gonna do. i’m going to put off the goal of becoming a jammer for a little bit, and just worry about being the best blocker i can be. lord knows that needs work anyway!
now for something positive. i’m just gonna copy and paste my ichange journal post from the other day. i was high off this for a while!
i’ve been dreading this weeks “hard workout” (my words) on the roller derby workout challenge… 100 burpees in 10 mins & 100 star jumps in 10 mins. thought about putting it off until the end of the week, but after i felt like i got some mojo back at practice last night, i wanted to keep the momentum going. i remember how hard it was for me to do during last year’s challenge, but i also kind of had a feeling i might surprise myself. either way, planning my post-workout snack helped get me motivated to get into it. i had to bake a sweet potato to use later in my sweet potato protein smoothie, so there was no backing out of this workout. well the burpees were not that hard really! my body is trained to just bust them out now i think i finished 100 in 9 minutes. earlier today i had questioned weather i should take it easy and just do one part of the workout, but i was so proud of myself i didn’t want to cheat myself. the star jumps were definitely harder, but i told myself this is a CHALLENGE, its not gonna be easy. i finished 5 minutes ahead of time and after taking a little break, was able to bust out 50 more! and let me just say, this post-workout sweet potato protein smoothie is the best tasting this to ever meet my lips
and for anyone who’d like the recipe, here it is. seriously, it was so fucking delicious.
puree the following in a blender. 1/2 cup mashed sweet potato, 1 banana, 1/4 cup nonfat plain greek yogurt, 1/4 almond milk (or your fav milk), 1 scoop french vanilla herbalife shake mix (or one tablespoon of your preferred protein powder), 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract, 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon, 4 ice cubes. the recipe called for 1 tablespoon agave nectar but i tasted it and it didn’t even need it so i left it out. i forgot to add a dash of nutmeg as well. 370 calories, protein 15g, carbs 68g, fat 6g.
oh, and ps- this smoothie is like a meal, it will fill u up! and the day after that hard workout, boy did i wake up sore. i was searching the apartment for marks calcium magnesium tablets before work that morning!
here are some pics from the scrimmage against jdb a few weeks ago. my computer is being an ass though or else i would upload more. photo credits to NUVO.
i’ve been putting off blogging all week. the shenita stretcher blocking bootcamp tuesday wasn’t very enjoyable for me. i was in a good mood and excited for it, got there early, helped put the track down. girls started showing up before 7:30. before i knew it, it was time to gear up. everyone who was there who wasnt a radical warmed up skating around the outside of the wftda track, but we skate around the whole rink, so that was weird. it felt like we were skating around for ever. i got really bored. i wanted to get into it! liberty lead us in a warm up on the track where we pack up and do what our rotating pivot tells us.
god, skating in a pack with that many girls terrifies me. will it always? whenever we do something like that, i end up in the back, where i’m mostly safe from locking skate wheels. *hangs head in shame*
then we stretched… and shenita still wasnt there. i kind of thought maybe she wasn’t coming, and it’d just be liberty leading a joint practice! she finally showed up though after diamonds. shes so cute! shes smaller than she looks in pictures.
it was a lot of talking, her explaining things to us. concepts like 80/20 weight distribution, chomping, and being long. then we’d line up and take turns practicing what she just explained. this is where i started to get really frustrated. i think what most pissed me off was doing this one where we’d skate up next to our partner, turn around and quickly do kind of a reverse long block to block them out, while skating backwards. i only know how to turn around the one way, and it was not the right way for this particular drill, so that threw my timing off and i couldnt get it right. i’d go through and shenita would give me a suggestion and then my next time she’d say something else to try and make me get it… and i was so frustrated i just growled at her. i growled at shenita stretcher! how mortifying. she was just like “i knowww, its hard…” and she probably didnt take it personally but i felt like an ass.
we did one drill partner blocking, and i didnt catch how she explained it, so i was lost through out it. i didnt know which line said what, and i was too scared to ask. i felt such anxiety and overwhelmed, and i think it hit me that i had a $111 citation to pay… i just felt tears coming to my eyes. i wanted to leave and go home. i thought about going to the bathroom for a good cry. i didnt though, i just stayed on the floor, miserable. i couldnt wait for it to be over.
finally it was, and we didnt have time to scrimmage. i would have liked the experience a lot more if it was just one of our girls explaining all the stuff and it was just our team. i would have felt a lot more comfortable i think. so i am really glad i never paid and travelled to go to a bootcamp. i think i’m just always gonna stay behind and wait for the girls who did go to bring back what they learned and teach it to us. at least now i know how i feel about bootcamps!
sunday was our scrimmage at lehigh. the part i was most excited about was getting to use my new insulated lunch bag x) it occured to me saturday that wait, lehigh is only an hour away. oh well, i still packed my usual snacks! i rode down in mj’s car with sunday (cara, a new transfer from 3 river rollergirls i believe) and mal. it was fun. i am beginning to genuinely like these road trips! who woulda thought? its crazy the things that have changed about my tastes in the past few years.
i used to only eat the yolks in dippy eggs, but over the years i have started eating a little bit of the white part, until now i can eat the whole dang egg.
i used to hate asparagus, sweet potatoes, feta cheese, olives – all things i enjoy now!
anyway, we made great time and got to the rink early. we had to wait until a kids skating party was over to start skating.
there were a lottt of lvrg girls skating. i didnt count, but it felt like they doubled us. we only actually had 10 girls that went to skate, so less than last weekend at jdb!
we lost by a lot. it sucked. what sucked more about losing was that it felt like a bout – there were announcers, not to mention the audience. but, it didnt count, it wasnt a real game. so oh well.
i was hoping to get the chance to jam at this scrimmage like last weekend. yes, i know i suck at it, and i’d probably get killed by lehigh’s heavy hitters, but i’m only gonna get better if i can practice it, right? i didnt get to jam. only burger, mj, rennee and liberty were put in to jam. burger fouled out!
having only 10 girls, we all had to go in a lot. i’ve been put in twice in a row before in bouts, but never as much as this. it wasn’t tiring so much as just something i wasnt used to. i can’t even begin to imagine how the jammers felt, going in so much! they must have super endurance to do that.
mal did a sternum block on someone, and got her in the face and was sent to the penalty box. i know high blocking is illegal, but i have gotten those type of hits before. i just got one sunday, a sternum block that landed square on my jaw by my ear. i kinda just thought that was alright. guess not, i suppose the refs just dont always see it. i had 2 minors, i saw on the board.
i dont think i played awfully, but it wasnt great. when i’m out there with only one other blocker, that shit is scary. i never know WHAT to do, and always end up being really ineffective :/ thats just like hitting the panic button for me, if 2 of our blockers are in the box. i also dont like to be pivot, because i dont ever know what to do. i dont want that responsibility! i’d much rather look to the pivot for direction. ugh, and i’m no good at b2 either. i am usually totally crappy at trying to help my jammer out…
tonight is the shenita stretcher bootcamp we’re hosting. thats exciting! we didnt sell many tickets, but found out a bunch of girls plan to come and just pay at the door. i wonder what its going to be like? this will be my first bootcamp. eeeee!